21 Aug Write what You See: How Do I Do This Jesus?

I must begin this paper with worship. I am in awe of how the Lord is working in my life, and I need to raise my arms and thank the Lord for his faithfulness.

I’m celebrating your rescue.

I’m singing at the top of my lungs,

I’m so full of answered prayers. Psalm 13:5 MSG

Amen.

A FROM -THROUGH – TO MOMENT

This particular FROM -THROUGH – TO MOMENT started last summer. I was having some seizure activity. I was blacking out. I could not remember where I was. I still don’t understand what was happening with my brain. Did I really have seizures? I may never know. The tests came back inconclusive; it does not mean I was not having some seizure activity.

My doctor put me on medication. The meds seemed to have helped, and I went on to take Gospel Catechesis in the fall. The class was a struggle. I got overwhelmed with the group project, and my seizures seemed to increase. I was thankful that my professor graciously let me finish my spiritual autobiographies after the semester ended. In the meantime, I did not take a Spring class, meaning I took more time than planned to finish my papers.

As I wrote, I discovered the role liturgies play in my life. I reflected on how a community came around me at a significant point in my life and helped me move closer to the Lord. I looked at my beliefs on baptism and communion, and I spent time looking at how my everyday activities affected my faith. I celebrated how the Lord has been faithful in my life.

Because I had the time in the Spring, I registered for an Emotionally Healthy course at my church. I had heard people talk about their experiences with the class, and I wanted to check it for myself. What better time to do it? What I found was that the information was not new to me. It was a great transition from the gospel catechesis class because it allowed me to see how a discipleship class worked.

I could look at it with fresh eyes and just enjoyed attending the sessions. My small group was accepting, but they were not challenging. I felt like the odd one left out during many of the discussions. I often questioned why I was attending class, but I was curious enough to keep going. Perhaps that’s discipleship itself.

Most of all, the Lord used the class to show me just how far I have come, that he took me through some tough stuff to get me to this point in my discipleship. For instance, the EH course spends a session looking at family history and how the past can affect one’s spiritual journey. “Discipleship requires putting off the sinful patterns of our family of origin and relearning how to do life God’s way in God’s family.” (Scazzero) My counselor and I spent years looking at how my family affected me, and the session helped me realize that not only did I need to heal from past family hurts, but it also helped me with my discipleship.

Having gone through all this, from being diagnosed with seizures to taking Gospel Catechesis to participating in an Emotionally Healthy course, I had a hunch that The Spiritual Life of the Christian Leader would build on everything I have learned this year. My instincts were right. Not only did the class wrap an intense year of discipleship, but the Lord used it to shape the next phase of my writing ministry.

Write What I See

My previous blog post blessed me by confirming that I am a writer. Not that I have ever doubted it, but writing the paper was holy work. The Lord showed me that I am doing the work I need to do to grow my writing skills and faithfully listen to the Lord and write his answer. (Habakkuk 2:2)

Eugene Peterson’s book The Pastor forever changed the way I see my writing. Peterson drew out a significant role for all writers to pursue. He quotes Revelation 1:11, when the Lord tells John to “write what you see.” My job as a writer is to listen to the Lord, pay attention to what is happening around me, and write what the Spirit has to say to me and my community. It sounds straightforward, but it is not easy to carry out in practice.

I want to reflect on a couple of practical issues as I enter a new stage of ministry.

First, why will I write, and who do I write to? This is a fundamental question for all writers. God is particular when he tells John to “write what you see” in Revelation 1:11. He tells John to write a book (what John will write) and send it to seven churches (the audience).

At the end of my first paper, I mentioned that I had just finished writing what I will call a strategic plan for the ministry and that both writing projects were the start of the rest of my ministry. While the topics are beyond the scope of this paper, they are what I see the Lord wanting me to address, I can say that I will be writing blogs, letters, and other forms of writing to get my message across. My audience and mission are clear. My job is to be a thorn in the side of the church and call it back to its true mission: to make disciples and care for the people of God, especially those with disabilities.

Second, as I ponder my calling as a writer, I wonder if people will not only listen to me but if anyone will care and engage with me. I see myself as a prophet, and I joked in my last paper that prophets get killed. People do not want to hear from prophets, especially if they bring difficult messages.

I have always known that he called me to be a writer, but I never felt the weight of that responsibility as I do now. A few verses of Scripture stand out to me as I ponder my responsibility:

·      If you say to the wicked, ‘You shall surely die,’ and you give him no warning, nor speak to warn the wicked from his wicked way, in order to save his life, that wicked person shall die for his iniquity, but his blood I will require at your hand. But if you warn the wicked, and he does not turn from his wickedness, or from his wicked way, he shall die for his iniquity, but you will have delivered your soul. Ezekiel 3:18-19

·      If you cause one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened around his neck and to be drowned in the depth of the sea. Matthew 18:6

These verses cause me to take stock of my heart and motivations. Am I ready for this responsibility? Sometimes I want to run and hide! The Lord will hold me responsible for my words. Oh my! I can’t do this, Lord! Then I remember what happened to Jonah! I don’t want to be eaten by a big fish, so I put my faith back in God and keep going. I look up at two posters in front of my kitchen table and remind myself of God’s truth:

·      Not that I have already obtained this, or have been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Philippians 3:12

·      Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God. Hebrews 12:1-2

I take a deep breath and put my hands back on the keyboard.

Nothing happens by accident in the Kingdom of God. As I am writing this part of the paper, I am listening to a podcast on a verse-by-verse study of the Book of Romans. We just started chapter nine, where Paul will explain Israel’s role now that Jesus has fulfilled his mission. But before he talks about the topic at hand, Paul makes an introductory statement.

He writes, “I am speaking the truth in Christ—I am not lying; my conscience bears me witness in the Holy Spirit— that I have great sorrow and unceasing anguish in my heart. For I could wish that I myself were accursed and cut off from Christ for the sake of my brothers, my kinsmen according to the flesh.” (Romans 9:1-3)

Paul is about to lay down some truth bombs! He is not going to mess around, but before he lays out his argument, Paul reminds the Romans that he is speaking the truth, that he is filled with the Holy Spirit. He lays out his entire resume in another letter, but here he says he is qualified to write about this issue. What he is about to say will be difficult to hear. Paul knows this. He also knows that the message he is about to bring is essential. So, without being defensive or condescending, Paul disarms the reader with this opening statement.

I want to be like Paul when I grow up.

Charles Spurgeon makes a brilliant observation about this verse. He writes:

The apostle is evidently about to make an extraordinary statement — a statement which would probably not be believed, and therefore, he gives as a preface the most solemn asseverations that are permitted to Christian men declaring that he is speaking the truth, and also that the Holy Ghost is bearing witness with his conscience that it is so — that he so loves the souls ‘of his fellow-countrymen that, though the thing could never be, yet in a sort of ecstasy of love he could devote himself to anything so long as his countrymen might but be saved.

When I heard that quote on the podcast, I had to find it and quote it in this paper. It connects so many dots. Speaking the truth is hard. Writing his answer on billboards (think blogs) for all to see is insane! But that is what God has called me to do. People need to hear the good news of Jesus Christ and be invited into a relationship with him. All I can do is to follow Jesus and write for him. As I said before, it sounds straightforward but challenging to carry out in practice.

It also touches on the John 21 passage that I explored last time. I care for vulnerable people. My words can either injure or inspire. That is what I want to explore next.

The “How” of My Writing

“The world does not need my ideas, the world needs to know who God is, who we are, where our place is, who we are to serve, and how we are to live in love and worship.”

In other words, don’t get cute with my words. Just give my readers Jesus. I have a question in my notes about how do I worship in my writing. I started this paper with worship, but can I lead my readers into worship? I am not sure, but I know that different writers are gifted differently.

I look at the biblical writers to see some examples. David and many of the prophets wrote poetry. Paul wrote letters and sprinkled them with truth bombs. Same with Moses. His sermons and discourses are some of the most brilliant speeches in Scripture. (What else are you going to do in the desert, after all?) And of course, there’s Jesus, the Master of all Masters. Imitate him, and you are well on your way to your sanctification.

I would love more time to soak in the wisdom of Esther De Waal, John Cassian, and even Adrian Van Kaam, and reflect on their wisdom for this next stage of life and ministry, but time is short. The thing that I learned from reading their books, and I ‘ll include other writers from earlier courses, such as the early church fathers, Augustine, Wesley, and Thomas Oden, is that I have a wealth of information I can go back through to strengthen my writing. This does not even include what I have learned in my Bible classes as I continue to read and do my inductive work with the Scriptures. This will only strengthen my writing as I move forward with the mission to which God has called me.

I cannot wait to have more time to see what wisdom these writers have for me in the future! But as I was thinking about this part of the paper and how I wanted to draw on the readings, my call as a writer, and how I am called to “write what I see,” the word “gentleness” came to my mind. It is a fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:23) and needs to be a cornerstone of my writing.

I listened to John Cassian’s Conferences on Audible during my evening walks. I cannot remember much of what I heard and do not test myself on the material, but I remember how I felt. I felt like I was in the presence of God on those walks, listening to something holy.

Esther De Waal is a better example. Professor Dr Martyn described her as a “dear Anglican woman,” and she is. Her book, Seeking God, is a writing masterpiece. De Wall writes purposefully, and every word is chosen for a reason. I imagine she prayed over every word and saw her reader sitting beside her as she wrote. I hope to have that kind of kindness towards my readers.

To the Father, Through the Holy Spirit, For the Sake of the World

Many writers have a word or a page count that they aim to achieve on a daily or weekly basis. I do not have those kinds of goals. I write in my head a lot because of the effort it takes to type. I thank the Lord for my ability to create in my mind. I do, however, try to follow the advice a writer gave me many years ago. “Write every day,” he told me. “Even if it is just one sentence.” After all these years, I still try to write at least one sentence every day.

Dr. Steve Seamonds taught my basic theology class. His class and book, Ministry in the Image of God: The Trinitarian Shape of Christian Service, has helped me understand my ministry and placed me on solid ground as I continue to write and minister to him. As a final wrap-up on how the Lord uses and will continue to use my writing ministry, I want to use some of Dr Seamonds’s teachings for some concluding thoughts.

In his book, Dr Seamonds writes, “The ministry we have entered is the ministry of Jesus Christ, the Son, to the Father, through the Holy Spirit, for the sake of the church and the world.” (Seamonds) What awesome way to describe ministry!

First, I remind myself that the ministry in which I am called is the ministry of Jesus Christ. Jesus is the one who is ministering; I am just his hands. He invites me to write for him, and it is my honor to write for him.

Second, I must be in tune with the Holy Spirit and let him guide me and my words. He will speak to me when I am silent and listening to his voice.

Third, I write for the sake of the church and the world. I write so that people may know Jesus Christ. I pray that my words and my stories will influence the world around me and bring people into the Kingdom of God.

A Final Thought

A few years ago, my mentor Peter sent me a picture he had taken in the Jesuit Sanctuary in Manresa. It is called The Vision of the Storta. It happened in the chapel of the Storta at the gates of Rome in 1537, shortly before the founding of the Company (Jesuits). Ignatius, on reaching a crossroads, saw that God the Father was placing him with Jesus, but He with the cross on his shoulder. 

Saint Ignatius felt answered the desire and prayer of his life, to look at the world from the gaze of Christ. Share your way of walking, your way of contemplating each creature, each reality. Now we can pray with him: 

Take, Lord, and receive all my liberty, 

my memory, my understanding 

and my entire will

All I have and call my own.

You have given all to me.

To you, Lord, I return it.

Everything is yours; do with it what you will.

Give me only your love and your grace, 

That is enough for me. (Mayberry)

This is how Peter sees me. I try. I make mistakes. I sin. But I make sure I take every step and move with Jesus. I quote Philippines 3:12 again: “Not that I have already obtained this, or have been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me.”